Through the Eyes of a CODA: Sophia's Journey Growing Up with Deaf and Hearing Parents

According to Sophia Puckett, "Being a CODA is something to be proud of. It also means having a bond with a beautiful culture and community." In this blog, the Imanyco team interviewed Sophia, who is a CODA. A CODA stands for Children of Deaf Adults. During the interview, Sophia shares her childhood experiences as a CODA, how her parents communicate, the friendly communication environment they have created at home, and the advantages of being a CODA.

Was there a specific time in your childhood or maybe even adulthood when you discovered that your parents were deaf? Was there like an epiphany moment, or you just knew?

I'm not quite sure if I just kind of figured it out based on the communication differences or was told. But growing up, with my mom being deaf and my dad being hearing, I could tell they communicated differently. My mom signed with her friends. I was the one making phone calls for my mom as soon as I was able to communicate well with other adults at a very young age. I was calling the dentist office to make an appointment for my mom to interpret for her. But now, with the technology advancements like Zoom and Google Meet and Facetime, she's actually able to do a lot more calls if she's able to see and lip read. So now I can call my mom using video calling platforms.

Digging further into that, do you automatically help your parents with communication when you're out in public, such as when shopping with your mom, or do you wait for your mom's permission to assist?

We've never had a formal discussion on, “here's when I want you to help me, and here's when I want to do it by myself”. But I know my mom so I can tell if we're having an in-person conversation, I can tell when she is not fully understanding something. I will repeat what she was not able to understand to her. And if she's still not getting it, we'll find other ways for her to understand what's being said.

I try to hold back and not automatically jump in because my mom has had a little bit more time on this earth than I have, and she has somehow made it through the time between when I was born and when she was born.

So, it depends.

I know there are a lot of stigmas and stereotypes in the deaf community, especially with CODA. Is there something that you want to share that you usually encounter and want to dispel the myth?

The first one that comes to mind is that all CODAs know how to sign fluently. I am nowhere near being fluent, but I know a little. I do know another CODA and they're kind of in the same boat as me where they know a little bit of sign language, but they're not fluent like their parent who is either deaf or hard of hearing.

I'm curious to know because you mentioned that not all CODA necessarily know fluent sign language. And is that something that the parents decide on, whether they want their child to learn sign language for them or they let their child choose?

Everyone's experience is different. When I was a baby, I signed more. My mom said when I was five months old, I could sign things I wanted, like “cheese,” during dinner time and my mom went to the fridge, got the cheese, gave me the cheese and I was all smiles and eating the cheese, and there was no crying or fussing or anything. It was very clear communication.

And I guess as I've gotten older, I have become more oral. Then use of my sign language needs decreased because I could effectively communicate with words.

So you grew up through oral education, mainstream?

Yes, and I think that's also partly because my dad was hearing and speaks verbally. Until he met my mom, I don't think he had any previous experience with anyone who was deaf or hard of hearing. I believe my mom was the first deaf or hard-of-hearing person he encountered. I could tell that our family was much more proactive about communication, and we tried to avoid communication barriers.

When my parents were building the house that I grew up in, they made it communication friendly, so there's really no walls in between rooms so you could see through. We always had closed captions on TV. When my friends came over to my house, they would notice and one day, they said, “Can we turn the caption off?”

I said, “No, I can’t.”

She said, “Why not?”

I said, because my mom can’t hear, she needs to be able to read to understand what’s going on. It’s funny now, my friend will not watch a show without captions on. She has been changed!

Did you have any experiences with other families as a CODA that made you realize how different CODAs can be in terms of their communication and interactions?

My boyfriend is a CODA, and his mom is deaf. And I can tell just in the way that our moms communicate differently. My mom had very, very extensive speech therapy in a school, and then his mom had some speech therapy, but not as much as my mother had. And then growing up kind of reminiscing about our childhood, there's some similarities, but there's also some differences. But I also feel that I had an advantage when meeting his mom for the first time because I knew how to communicate with her. I knew what I needed to do when communicating to her - like I needed to face her and make sure that I wasn't going too fast. And if she didn't understand something, I needed to repeat myself and those kinds of things.

What does communication access mean to you in your own words?

I would say that communication accessibility means that everyone can communicate equally without any barriers. This means that communication should not be harder for one person than it is for another, and everybody should be on an equal playing field. There should not be any limit to what I consider to be a basic human right.

Several CODAs expressed how advanced technology like Koda can aid in easy and free communication for their parents. Koda is a real-time captioning app by Imanyco that assists Deaf and hard-of-hearing individuals in group settings by providing captions of each speaker.